Ten Things I Learned from My Social Media Fast – Part 1

I would venture to guess social media is a part of (almost) all of our lives. From Facebook to Instagram to newer platforms like Snapchat, each one influences our everyday lives on a daily basis. This summer, I wrote the following reflections after taking a two week break from all social media.

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I’m a health care professional, I told myself, if anyone knows what addiction is and what havoc it wreaks, it’s me. There’s no way, I am addicted…and definitely not to social media of all things. Impossible. To verify my inner dialogue, I decided to look up the definition of “addiction.” Of course, this was purely for research and knowledge purposes only. Merrium Webster defines addiction as “a strong and harmful need to regularly have something (such as a drug) or do something (such as gamble); an unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something.” I squinted at the computer screen and the definition right there looming in pixilated form. My mind whirled. Maybe I’m not truly addicted, I reasoned, but the possibility is lurking. Something has to change.

You see, my husband and I had just moved across the country, away from family, friends, the city we grew up in and loved, an amazing community, wonderful church, and basically our comfortable, predictable life. We traded it all in for the unknown in a place where we literally knew potentially five people, most awaiting an introduction through an acquaintance, and all of them over an hour away from our new city. I thought I had everything under control for the move, but as the weeks went by – I sensed an alarming development, a pattern I had begun to notice before we left our old city.

I was anxious. All the time. The obvious reason, a major life change, was staring me in the face, but for some reason this anxiety went much deeper. It was so embedded, I couldn’t seem to shake it. I was fearful, on edge, distracted, and agitated. I debated what was the true root cause, and I realized when I started feeling out of control, I would pick up my phone. Several minutes would then turn into hours as I would scroll through Facebook and Instagram (my social media of choice – I do not have Twitter or Snapchat). Even though I enjoyed seeing updates, articles, and pictures of babies (as in, every friend I have is pregnant right now…), I didn’t like realizing when I looked up that a large part of my day was gone. Where did the time go? But most importantly, my social media “breaks” did not improve my mood. I still felt miserable. Drained and anxious. Something had to change. I needed to figure out what was going on with no distractions, and I couldn’t do it alone.

One Saturday night, I carefully, vulnerably and with hesitant relief, spilled my fears and thoughts to my (wonderful, caring) husband. At the end, I announced my plan, “I’m deleting Facebook and Instagram from my phone Sunday night, and I’m fasting from them for at least a full week so I can focus on figuring out these emotions.” He, to my surprise, didn’t say I was crazy (since that’s what I felt in my head), but instead decided to join me. And so we began. It was quite the week – a week of discovery, deep contemplation, and a few revelations that I wanted to share, in no particular order.

1.) I have never felt as connected to my everyday life as when I felt so disconnected from everyone else’s life. Even though my childhood wasn’t filled with social media, I’ve had Facebook since my freshman year of college. In eight years, I had forgotten what it feels like to not have social media as a part of my everyday life. Everything seems simply quieter, more peaceful. I’m not distracted by seeing the latest posts or pictures that capture my emotions and draw me in deeper. I’m not distressed by “comment wars” and the audacity that the anonymity of the internet gives people to respond with hateful, scarring words. The latest news headline doesn’t derail my day, and my mind doesn’t play the “what if” game every twenty minutes.

2.) I use Facebook and Instagram to numb real life emotions. This knowledge was monumental for me. As described above, I never thought that I was anywhere close to being addicted to social media. However, I realized that without it, in my quiet moments, I actually can think. I didn’t always use social media as a numbing agent, but this past year has been a year of incredible life change, including marriage, job changes for both my husband and I into stressful positions, selling a home, quitting a job, moving across the country, buying a home, job searching, and future career decisions.

I realized during this fasting week that as life seemed more and more out of my control in the past year, when it was requiring so much emotional energy, I would let myself get lost in an internet fog. Soon, in that fog, time would pass until the next activity or event was to begin, and then I could lose myself in the busyness of that. My fasting week showed me how unhealthy this was – and how much it contributed to my anxiety. I am naturally an introvert, deep thinker, and careful processor; and I was sabotaging my own coping mechanisms by numbing emotions through social media. I felt exhausted, drained, anxious, and fearful because I wasn’t giving myself time to process all the change from the last year. I was just filling my mind with more stimuli for it to process.

3.) I have so much more time!!! This one may be stating the obvious, and I think toward my breaking point with all of this, I realized how much time I was devoting to social media. However, it is unbelievable how much time you do have when it is gone. All those minutes where I just want to “check in” add up so quickly. During my fasting week, I was able to read a few books, have quiet time with the Lord, write, speak with friends on the phone, continue to unpack and get the house settled, meal plan, and be truly present with my husband, along with many other things that get half of my distracted focus when I take breaks to check the latest Instagram post.

4.) My mind has time to truly “be still”; and I’m emotionally more stable: less anxiety, less fear, less grumpiness, less discontentment, less mental drama. This whole fast was a personal experiment on how much social media was influencing my emotions and reactions. As I continued to discover how much I used social media to numb my emotions (see #2), I realized how much better I felt without it. Like I mentioned above, the overload of stimuli was gone, and I had time to truly be still with my Savior, with my husband, with my thoughts. It has been so refreshing – almost like an “off the grid” vacation (unfortunately, the beautiful beach and sunset walks are missing… 🙂 ).

5.) I can think more deeply about everything when I’m not thinking about checking in on everyone. We moved for my husband’s job, and we agreed I would look for a new job while getting us settled. It was going to be a unique opportunity for me as it would be somewhat of a sabbatical for me with some unpacking involved. I was looking forward to this time, because I was emotionally exhausted from everything happening so quickly. However, it quickly became apparent that even on a sabbatical without a job outside the home, I was distracted. Distracted by everyone else’s lives. Some were great friends that I loved seeing updates on, but if we are all being honest, most people on our social media accounts are not those that walk through life with us. They are acquaintances that we let clutter our minds with some of their daily drama.

{Part 2 to come next week…}

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Have you ever tried a social media fast? How do you keep boundaries with social media?