Perspective

Sarah Bessey’s new book, Out of Sorts came out this past Tuesday. To celebrate the launch, she is hosting a link-up on her site with the following prompt: “I used to think _____ and now I think _______.”  Below is my reflection on this statement.

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I used to think about life circumstances and events with my finite, human perspective, and now I think about viewing life through Jesus’ soul perspective.

How do we even begin to answer the hard questions such as, why do bad things happen to good people? Why did that sweet mother of four young children die of cancer? Why does my patient who is addicted to cocaine become pregnant again and again when other stable couples never have a child? Does God really care about the details of my life? Do my whispered prayers about my important needs ever reach Him?

I’ve wrestled for years with these questions: me, my black and white faith, my strict view of good versus evil with a little karma and “make sure you’re good enough to earn grace” thrown into the mix of deliberation. Nothing in life seemed to be fair despite my attempts (and failure) to earn grace by perfectionism, and my anxiety knew no bounds – I would have told you I understood the whole story of the Gospel was wrapped up in Jesus’ free gift of grace. Yet, my mind couldn’t grasp the revolutionary thinking that I have done nothing, nor can I do anything to deserve it or earn it. My very human brain tricked me into supposing that there must be something I can do, or can give back to the One who gave everything for me.

The vicious cycle this caused produced doubt, fear, uncertainty, and angst. I wanted to believe God was strong enough for my questions, that His grace covered me, that he cared deeply for me, His daughter, yet I couldn’t reconcile these comforting thoughts with the events I saw happen all around me.

Does God care about my life, about others lives? About our everyday details? About our concerns, anxieties, and frustrations? Does He hear our prayers? Not just about the monumental happenings – but the little things? And does something make our prayers not valid when His answer is “no”?

My husband and I discussed this over and over, multiple conversations, floods of words, Biblical references and reassurances, and much soul searching — often my eyes filling with tears of frustration and grief as I tried to reconcile God caring about our daily lives with the unthinkable, tragic circumstances surrounding us.  Then, during one conversation, my husband said, “We have to remember – God is ultimately concerned about our souls. He writes our stories with His eternal, soul perspective, and most times this side of heaven that viewpoint is incomprehensible to us in our limited humanity.”

His statement resonated in me as I remembered these verses in Isaiah, “’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’ (55:8-9).”

Life has no guarantees as a Christian – there is nothing we can achieve, accomplish, or earn to prevent crushing circumstances, terminal illnesses, or heart shattering events — but the security we do have is in a sovereign God in heaven who is writing our stories with an eternal, soul perspective. He’s more than big enough for our questions, compassionate enough to care about the details of our lives, and so overflowing with love, grace, and mercy He sacrificed His only son so one day our human eyes will be opened to our whole life story through His perspective. And, I believe, on that glorious day, we will marvel at the masterpiece He wove, no matter the depth of the valleys, the blissfulness of the mountaintops, the wealth of unexplainable circumstances, and the myriad of emotional experiences that made up our earthly lives.

I used to think about life circumstances and events with my finite, human perspective, and now I think about viewing life through Jesus’ soul perspective.

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What do you think? Do you ever struggle with reconciling your idea of who Jesus is with your current life view? What about our faith and its eternal promise comforts you the most?